Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Dignity is for republicans.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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