I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
