Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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