Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I was not drunk enough for that final.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
