She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
