? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
