I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
