just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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