nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
