it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
