How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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