I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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