the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
