two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I could fuck to npr.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
