come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I cut my penus on the lid.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
