is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
