then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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