found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
