i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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