it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
