I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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