I think my vagina is haunted
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize