My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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