also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
