remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
