I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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