I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
