What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
