People in love make me want to vomit
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
