i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
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I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
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Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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