Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
