We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you would pick up someone in the library
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
