Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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