Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
