That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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