Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
