I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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