mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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