Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
