just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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