i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
