You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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