I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
