How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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