im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
