New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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