I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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