ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
