# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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