grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
