The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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