I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
