How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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