you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
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Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
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I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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