my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
