Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
