i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
