the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
