So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
