I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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