My girlfriend figured out who you are.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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