I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
