we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
