The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize
