What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
