I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
